I read the post and I don't understand what problem you are having difficulty solving. I see a few questions in the post:
does something exist like this for full-text indexing/searching?
Has anyone ever had a similar gripe before... or am I nuts and should just keep using SQL for these situations?
Both of those aren't appropriate for Programmers. The first is polling for technology solutions that will likely generate a shopping list of things. The second question seems better suited for a discussion forum.
I don't think off-topic is the correct close reason, but I agree with the closure. I think that "not constructive" or "not a real question" probably would have been better. However, there aren't any answers to the post. That makes it a potential candidate for reopening, if it's edited.
I would recommend editing it so that it doesn't read like you're looking for a list of technologies, are trying to rant, or trying to start a discussion. Describe the specific problem that you are currently facing and what solutions you have found and why they don't seem appropriate.
As far as people closing instead of editing, no one is under an obligation to edit a post.