My initial reaction to it is essentially the same as the first comment it got:
This question pushes the boundaries of what is on-topic here in several ways (opinion-based, list format, perhaps even education advice), but I find it so fantastic that for once, someone responsible for portraying us to the outside world doesn't simply make stuff up that I hope it will get a lot of love. – Kilian Foth 6 hours ago
The question currently has four close votes on it, a couple fairly good answers, and I've seen it in the hot network questions list at least once. I haven't cast any kind of vote on it (since it has enough upvotes already imo).
I believe this question is valuable and worth keeping open. However, it's not like there's an obviously on-topic part and an obviously off-topic part; arguably every part of it is an opinion poll. So I don't know what needs changing to get those close votes retracted. Or maybe I'm just wrong and the question should've been closed ages ago.
So this is directed primarily at the close voters, but also at anyone who might be willing to cast a reopen vote should this question get closed. What changes do you think are required to make that question acceptable, or do you think it's unsalvageable?
A few ideas I do have:
Simply remove bullet point #5, as it's by far the most opinion-based of the five, and the best answers have either punted on it or devoted very little time to it.
Change much of the wording to something like "How would a professional programmer be expected to respond to this situation?", i.e. make it about industry best practices (like the good answers describe) rather than simply a poll for all of our l33t anti-hacker techniques.
If anyone thinks the main problem with this question is that it's too broad/asking too many questions, we could split the four "good"(?) bullet points into 2-4 separate questions.
I'm more than willing to do the actual editing, I just have no idea which aspect of the question needs editing to prevent closure without removing the spirit of the question (if that's even possible).